Humanity
by caffeineaddict13
Summary: But Jacob’s heart is much older than twenty-five. J/B angst, oneshot.


**A/N:** A little insight to most of the main characters thoughts surrounding Bella.

--

Rosalie pretends she doesn't love Bella.

When Jasper smirks at her from behind his emotional radar, she scowls back and fixes her hair, tries to be _angry_ (most people think she is, anyway) or _annoyed_. It's harder when Bella's there, alive and happy.

Edward curls his lips and chuckles and she quickly disperses her thoughts, the same way she does to her decisions, because Alice can see the embrace she has planned just as well as Rosalie knows that it will never happen.

Because if Rosalie accepts Bella, there will be nothing holding her back. Nothing frightening or uncomfortable to await her when she gives away her soul (Rosalie is lying if she thinks there is nothing—no one—waiting for Bella if she doesn't).

And Rosalie_ loves_ Bella too much to let her make that choice.

--

Emmett likes Bella's clumsiness.

Being the funny one in the family, he is constantly looking for new sources of amusement. After living decades with these flawless individuals (he wants to scoff at how good they are, even for _vampires_, but holds it because he is, after all, _one_ of them), it's getting harder and harder to find updated material.

Bella's very imperfect _humanity_ adds a new spin to his jokes.

He chuckles when she trips but is just as scared as Edward when she begins to bleed; when Jasper lunges; when time stops.

He can't read minds like Edward, but it is easy to see what is going through Bella's head.

It wouldn't be too hard for her to find someone that could clean her cuts and kiss them better. That someone isn't Edward.

And Emmett isn't laughing anymore.

--

Alice's visions aren't as perfect as everyone seems to think.

Alice is Bella's best friend (or one of them, at least). She takes pride in every step that Bella takes, and becoming one of them family just seems like the logical thing to do next.

But Alice can also see the future. And she knows that it changes every day.

It takes all of her energy to hide her thoughts from Edward, and he doesn't realize that sometimes she fakes her visions just for him—shows him what (he doesn't admit) he wants to see. She shows him a pale and perfect family; she shows him BellaandEdward, she shows him _forever_.

Her real visions aren't as pretty.

Because there are several realities waiting for Bella.

One of them is that _hope_, that endless love that Alice so desperately wants to believe in.

One of them is a dazzling version of Bella—and she is leaving.

And the other is invisible.

Alice may be small, but she isn't stupid. The odds are not in Edward's favor.

--

Jasper knows more about Bella than even Edward does.

Because of his power, figuring people out was always Jasper's strong suit. He could tell right away how someone felt about him, and manipulated their emotions accordingly—at first, it seemed a little unethical, but Jasper can't help it if so many people are afraid of him.

Bella _isn't_ scared. Not of him, at least.

It takes only minutes after Bella grows close to Edward for Jasper to find out that, though Bella may be human, she has an equally important power of her own. She can make _everyone_ love her.

And she can love _everyone_ back.

But Jasper also knows that Bella has the capacity to love _and_ to hate—even Edward. And it's hard for him to keep track of which emotion is stronger, sometimes.

--

It took Edward one hundred years to find his soul mate.

Bella is everything he ever wanted, plus a couple things he doesn't. He knows that he would gladly _die_ in place of her (he has been wanting to die for a century, all the same), and that he will never ever _ever_ leave her side.

Edward is also very intelligent. And he knows that undying devotion isn't always enough.

He can't give Bella everything, no matter how much he may want to.

And he sees the look on her face when he asks her if that's okay.

And he's not really sure he believes the quiet _yes_ anymore.

--

Jacob is older than he looks.

And that's saying something; because at sixteen, Jacob can easily buy drinks at a bar without getting carded, walk along a college campus and look at home, and wink at twenty year old models and have them smile back.

But Jacob's heart is much older than twenty-five.

Jacob knows that Bella sees this, but still she continues to break it, and it's getting harder and harder to piece it back together these days.

Jacob's pulse gets weaker every day (_and he hates that he's such a contradiction_).

Werewolves may be quick healers, but Jacob Black is dying slowly of a broken heart.

--

Bella doesn't think that she is beautiful.

As much as Edward tries to tell her, Bella can only see the perfection in his face—in the features of the immortals around her; in their dazzling smiles and golden eyes.

Edward can whisper compliments all he wants, but Bella knows that she is nothing but plain when she is standing next to him.

But when Bella visits Jacob, she believes it when his low voice mumbles _you're stunning_ into her ear.

And it's not because Jacob is any _less_ beautiful than Edward (she knows this for a fact).

Bella can't help but daydream about her thirteen-year-old fantasies—and the perfect guy that makes her feel lovely every second she spends with him.

Bella finds it's harder to breathe the closer she gets to oblivion.

--

**END**


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